justinmathers

I believe in uncertainty. I believe in continuing to ask questions that may or may not have answers, and never becoming complacent or blind. I believe that the world we live in is one of ignorance and fear, which leads people to blindly follow beliefs and ideals simply because the alternative is too frightening. The alternative being taking life into one's own hands and figuring out what is best for themselves, and what they can do to improve their own lives, and the lives of those around them. So I believe in uncertainty, and logical thinking, and not becoming a member of the uninformed masses. I do not believe in sacrificing the freedom o

Even as those same familiar words brush my lips on their way out I can feel how hollow and meaningless they are I try and grab them back, but it's too late I watch as your shoulders fall, and your eyes are shadowed with disappointment and distrust You're wall is back up That wall I worked so long to break down I wish I meant it I wish it wouldn't happen again But it will I will And we both know it As those same familiar words brush my lips A tear forms in my eye A mirror image of the one forming in yours I desire so strongly to wipe them away But I cannot bring myself to You wouldn't allow it And as those same familiar words

I rested luxuriously on my perch High above the rest of them Looking down on all that was lesser then me I hated them in a way I couldn't explain Running around aimlessly Blindly enjoying life "It's just childish," I thought cryptically They were everything I wasn't Immature Unintelligent Happy And as much as I hated them I hated myself more But I didn't know that then I just thought I was better Smarter Stronger But I was no better than any of them Just sadder Just more alone Just childish

I have to face it I wasn't cheated I wasn't short changed I wasn't lied to Deceived Tricked Strung along It wasn't an unforeseen set of circumstances Or a series of unfortunate events I have to face it I wasn't cheated I failed I lost I had it in my hands and I let it slip through my fingers It escaped through the door that I so carelessly left unlocked The only person I have to blame is myself And I have to face it

Honestly If I'm falling Then I hope the drop is high enough to kill me Or at least high enough so I can't get back up Just to get knocked down again

How do I take the things I feel and put them into the words I write? How can I take the pain festering in my heart and use it to create a tapestry of beauty? Instead of the hole of despair that I so methodically dig My own grave How can I acquire freedom from these thoughts and ideas that weigh so heavy on my mind? And that won't leave no matter how many times I show them the door What's keeping me balanced on this ledge? When admittedly sweet escape lies on the pavement ten stories down Just a small leap away A leap of faith? Or of defeat? Half of me screams JUMP Begs and pleads with me to end it Cries out for release The other

The moon rose slowly over the small mountain town Defeat evident in the silence in which it drowned Sadness evident in the tears in the ground Still the moon rose slowly over the small mountain town The messenger walked quickly up the small mountain pass Wearily eyeing the gaping crevasse With still many dangerous perils to surpass The messenger walked quickly up the small mountain pass The townsfolk were startled when the messenger arrived Carrying with him the news they would die If they did not flee this small town tonight Still the townsfolk were startled, and this news they denied The messenger begged them to head his warnin